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儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇
2025-08-24人已围观
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇
儿童英语笑话爆笑1 Awomancomplainedthatherhusbandconstantlyhungaroundthehouse，doingorsayingnothing.Toplease下面是小编为大家整理的儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇,供大家参考。
儿童英语笑话爆笑1
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we"ll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes，do you need a partner ?"
“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”
儿童英语笑话爆笑2
Happiness in Dream
There was a wife who told her husband, "Last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring."
The husband put down his newspaper and said, "Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them."
妻子告诉丈夫说：“昨天晚上我梦见你给我买了一件裘皮大衣和一个钻石戒指。”
丈夫放下手中的报纸说：“好啊!今晚再睡着时，你就穿戴上它们吧。”
儿童英语笑话爆笑3
Too Smart for Dad
"Young man," said the angry father from the head of stairs, "didn"t I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter in?"
"You did," admitted the boyfriend, "it was going to strike eleven , but I grabbed it and held the gong so it wouldn"t disturb you."
The father muttered, "Wonder why I didn"t think of that one in my courting days!"
青出于蓝
“小伙子，”父亲在楼梯口板着脸说道，“闹钟敲了四下，你才把我女儿带回来，我没听错吧?”
“是的，”男孩承认说，“闹钟本来是要敲11下，但我拽住了钟摆，以免影响您。”
父亲低咕道：“奇怪，我谈恋爱时怎么没想到这一着呢!”
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇扩展阅读
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展1）
——搞笑儿童英语笑话 (菁选3篇)
搞笑儿童英语笑话1
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I"ll bring you martinis all night long. But you go to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I"m peeking at a photo of my wife.When she starts to look good, then I know it"s time to go home."
搞笑儿童英语笑话2
A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I"ll die of suffocation(窒息，闷死) if there is no fresh air.""I won"t open it," said the first lady, "I"ll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let"s have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."
解决问题的好办法 一位绅士正静静地坐在头等包厢里，有两位女士走了进来。其中一位见窗户开着，就在落坐之前把窗户“把窗户打开，”第二位女士说道，“如果没有新鲜空气，我会被憋死的。” “不能打开，”第一位说道，“如果它开着，我会被冻死的。” 一场争吵开始，没完没了，直到那位绅士开口： “我们先让窗户关着，直到把这位女士憋死，然后再打开窗户，直到把这位女士冻死。那以后，这儿就可以恢复*静了。”
搞笑儿童英语笑话3
A lawyer married a woman who had previously1 divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I"m still a virgin2."
"What?" said the puzzled groom3.
"How can that be if you"ve been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he"d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn"t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn"t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement5, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn"t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing4: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I"ve married you, I"m really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You"re a lawyer. This time I know I"m gonna get screwed!"
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展2）
——爆笑儿童英语笑话 (菁选2篇)
爆笑儿童英语笑话1
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
爆笑儿童英语笑话2
At the supermarket I noticed an elderly man who seemed to be following me wherever I went. As I moved to each aisle, there he was, smiling at me. Now I was wondering if he was interested in me. At the dairy counter I was checking out the eggs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw that it was the same man. "Lady," he finally said, "you have my shopping cart."
在超级市场
在超市我注意到一位上了年纪的`男子好像总在跟着我。我每到一个售货通道，他就跟我到一个售货通道，微笑地看着我。我开始想他是不是喜欢上我了。在乳品柜，我正给鸡蛋包装结账时，有人在我肩上轻拍了一下。我转过身发现还是那个男子。“女士，”他终于开口说话了，“你用着我的采货车呢。”
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展3）
——短篇的儿童英语小笑话爆笑 (菁选2篇)
短篇的儿童英语小笑话爆笑1
Our oldest son, Willy, a helicopter pilot stationed at Fort Rucker，Alaska, lives and breathes flying. When he called to say hed be driving home for Christmas，a 16-hour trip,we were surprised. "Why don`t you fly home?"my wife asked.
我的`大儿子威利，是阿拉斯加州福特罗克墓地的一名直升飞机驾驶员，生活、呼吸在飞行中。圣诞节快到的时侯，他打电话告诉我们他要驾车回来，有16个小时的旅途。我们吓了一跳。“你为什么不坐飞机回来呢?”我妻子问他。
"Because,"Willy replied, "I hate riding in the back!”
威利说:“因为我讨厌坐在飞机的后面。”
短篇的儿童英语小笑话爆笑2
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but itdoesnt really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact,Ive farted(放屁) at least 20 times since Ive been here in your office. You didnt know I wasfarting because they dont smell and are silent."
有位小老太太去看医生：“医生，我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题，只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。事实上，我在这里已经放了20多个屁，但是你并不知道对吧，因为我的屁不臭，而且还没声音。”
The doctor says, "I see. Heres a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven daysand come back to see me next week."The next week the lady goes back.
医生说：“好的，我明白了。吃这个药片，一天三次连续吃七天，下星期你再来。”
"Doctor," she says, "I dont know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although stillsilent... stink terribly."The doctor says, "Good! Now that weve cleared up your sinuses(鼻窦) ,lets start working on your hearing."
一星期后老太太来了，“医生，你到底给的我什么药，现在我放屁还是没声音，但是怎么这么臭!”医生说：“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了，现在开始治听觉。”
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展4）
——儿童英语诗歌朗诵3篇
儿童英语诗歌朗诵1
《Whole Duty of Children孩子的全部责任》
A child should always say what"s true,
一个孩子应该总是会说什么是真的，
And speak when he is spoken to,
当他说话的时候，
And behave mannerly at table:
在餐桌的.举止文明：
At least as far as he is able.
至少到目前为止，他有能力做到。
儿童英语诗歌朗诵2
《There Was a Little Girl这是一个小女孩》
There was a little girl
这是一个小女孩
Who had a little curl
她有一头卷发
Right in the middle of her forehead.
从她前额的中间分散开。
When she was good
当她是好看的时候
She was very good indeed,
她真的非常好看，
But when she was bad she was horrid.
但当她不好看的时候她就变的非常可怕。
儿童英语诗歌朗诵3
《A Guinea Pig一个豚鼠》
There was a little guinea pig,
这是一个小豚鼠 ，
Who being little, was not big;
并非很小，就是不大;
He always walked upon his feet,
它总是匆匆的跑，
And never fasted when he eat.
它很少让自己饿着一直在吃东西。
When from a place he run away,
当它从一个地方逃跑了，
He never at the place did stay;
它很少在一个地方停留着;
And while he run, as I am told,
虽然它跑了，正如我所说的，
He never stood still for young or old.
它不论什么时候都不会静静地呆着。
He often squeaked, and sometimes violent,
它经常尖叫， 有时也会暴力，
And when he squeaked he never was silent.
当它感受到危险的时候它也不会安静下拉。
Though never instructed by a cat,
虽然猫从未想去捉它，
He knew a mouse was not a rat.
它知道这只像老鼠的动物不是老鼠。
One day, as I am certified,
有一天，我认证，
He took a whim, and fairly died;
他突发奇想，选择适当的时间死亡;
And as I am told by men of sense,
正如我所说的，一个人的感觉，
He never has been living since.
他几乎没有过自己想要过的生活。
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展5）
——儿童英语口语常用句型3篇
儿童英语口语常用句型1
1.How are you?-I’m fine. Thank you. and you?
你好吗?我很好。谢谢，你呢?
2.Good morning / afternoon/evening/night.
早上好/下午好/晚上好/晚安。
3.What’s your name?
你叫什么名子啊?
4. What’s wrong with you? (What’sthe matter?)
你怎么了?(出什么事了?)
5.Let’s get ready for class!
让我们准备上课吧!
6.One bye one please.no pushing.
一个一个来。不要挤。
7.Let’s go back to the classroom.
让我们*室去。
8.Do you want anymore?
还要吗?
9.I’d like to drink some milk!
我想喝点年奶!
10.Who wants to try?
谁来试试?
11.Today we are going to learn some new worlds。
今天我们将学习一些新单词。
12.Don’t be afraid/shy!
不要害怕/不要害羞!
13. I’m going to learn Disney’s Magic English.
我去学迪士尼神奇英语。
儿童英语口语常用句型2
1.How are you?-I’m fine. Thank you. and you?
你好吗?我很好。谢谢，你呢?
2.Good morning / afternoon/evening/night.
早上好/下午好/晚上好/晚安。
3.What’s your name?
你叫什么名子啊?
4. What’s wrong with you? (What’sthe matter?)
你怎么了?(出什么事了?)
5.Let’s get ready for class!
让我们准备上课吧!
6.One bye one please.no pushing.
一个一个来。不要挤。
7.Let’s go back to the classroom.
让我们*室去。
8.Do you want anymore?
还要吗?
9.I’d like to drink some milk!
我想喝点年奶!
10.Who wants to try?
谁来试试?
11.Today we are going to learn some new worlds。
今天我们将学习一些新单词。
12.Don’t be afraid/shy!
不要害怕/不要害羞!
13. I’m going to learn Disney’s Magic English.
我去学迪士尼神奇英语。
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展6）
——圣诞节儿童英语诗歌3篇
圣诞节儿童英语诗歌1
C for the carolers, happy and gay,
H for the holly and Santa"s red hat,
R for the reindeer, leaping the roofs.
I for the ice on snow-covered hills,
S for the stockings that Santa Claus stuffs,
T for the toys, the tinsel, the tree,
M for the mistletoe. Watch where it hangs!
A for the animals, out in the stable,
S for the sensing, the necessity of love.
圣诞节儿童英语诗歌2
Once upon a time the Elf, Rudolph and Santa got into the hot bath tub,
As it would keep them from the cold outside, when they got a little scrub.
When Frosty saw what they were doing he laughed and poked fun at them,
Santa was so embarrassed and didn"t know what to say to Frosty, his cutest gem.
So in his defence he told Frosty to enter the hot bath tub instead of finding flaws.
He thought this would make Frosty realize what a cool idea it really was.
But when Frosty got in, the temperature of the tub changed from hot to cold,
And within seconds the Elf, Rudolph and Santa froze.
They froze not just because it was too cold to bear,
But they froze when they realized their culprit has melted in the hot tub there.
Poor Frosty!
圣诞节儿童英语诗歌3
Evergreen boughs that fill our homes
With fragrant Christmas scents,
Hearts filled with the loving glow
That Christmas represents;
Christmas cookies, turkeys stuffed,
Festive holly berry,
Little faces bright with joy,
Loved ones being merry;
Parties, songs, beribboned gifts,
Silver bells that tinkle,
Christmas trees and ornaments,
Colorful lights that twinkle;
Relatives waiting with open arms
To smile and hug and kiss us;
These are some of the special joys
That come along with Christmas.
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展7）
——常用的儿童英语口语表达
常用的儿童英语口语表达1
集体活动
1. Go ahead. 继续。
2. Sing a song. 唱支歌。
3. Come on guys. 男孩们过来。
4. What’s that? 那是什麽?
5. Really? 真的?
6. Hang on for a while. 稍微等一会儿。
7. Enjoy yourself. 自娱自乐。
8. Danger! Keep off! 危险!小心!
9. Don’t be afraid, it’s safe. 别害怕，它是安全的。
10. I am busy now, see you later. 我很忙现在，一会儿见。
11. What shall we draw today? 我们今天画什么。
12. I have no paper. 我没有纸。
13. I finished. 我做完了。
14. I can’t see. 我看不见。
15. I can’t write my name. 我不会写我的名字。
16. I like toys. 我喜欢玩玩具。
17. He’s hitting me!他打我!
18. He takes my toy / book. 他抢我的玩具 / 书。
19. Excuse me. Can you do my shoes? 打扰一下，你能帮我系鞋带吗?
20. I want to play with Jim. 我想和Jim玩。
21. Let’s play home game / house. 我们玩娃娃家吧。
22. Do I need keep the toys? 要收玩具吗?
23. I want to go to playground. 我想玩大型玩具。
24. We want to play hide and seek. 我们想玩捉迷藏。
25. Don’t push me. 别推我。
26. Teacher, he pushes me. 老师，他推我。
27. Show me. 给我看。
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展8）
——最新儿童英语口语
最新儿童英语口语1
一、打招呼，问好
1.Good morning? Good morning! 早上好?早上好!
2. Good afternoon? Good afternoon! 下午好?下午好!
3. How old are you? I am (four). 你几岁了?我(四)岁。
4. What is your name? My name is (lanlan) 你叫什麽名字?我叫(兰兰)。
5. See you tomorrow? See you tomorrow. 明天见?明天见。
6. Are you OK? Yes, I am OK. 你还好吗?我挺好的。
7. Hi, how are you? I am fine, thank you. 嘿，你好吗?我很好，谢谢。
8. Excuse me! 打扰一下!
9. Bye-bye mum / daddy. 再见妈妈/ 爸爸。
10. Good-bye 再见。
11. Excuse me, what is your name? 打扰一下，你叫什么名字?
12. See you next week. 下周见。
二、表扬，感谢
1.You are beautiful! 你真漂亮!
2. You are clever! 你真聪明!
3. You are good! 你真棒!
4. Great! / Good! / OK! 好。
5. Very nice! 非常好!
6. Happy New Year! 新年快乐!
7. Happy birthday! 生日快乐!
8. Merry Christmas! 圣诞快乐!
9. Thank you very much! 非常感谢你!
10. Wonderful! 太棒了!
11. I am the winner! 我是胜利者!
12. I am the first! 我是第一名!
13. You are beautiful! 你真漂亮!
14. You are welcome! 欢迎你!
15. How beautiful! 多美呀!
16. How funny! 多有趣呀!
17. Wow! It’s so nice! 哇!它太好了。
18. It’s a nice day! 这是一个很好的一天!
19. Oh, my god / goodness! 哦，我的上帝!
20. Wow! It’s so nice / lovely! 哇!它太棒了 / 太可爱了!
21. Nice girl / boy. 好女孩 / 男孩。
22. You are so sweet. 你是非常可爱的。
23. You look very smart. 你看起来非常聪明。
24. I wish you a Merry Christmas!我祝你圣诞快乐!
25. I wish you a Happy New Year!我祝你新年快乐!
26. Miss Li, you are very beautiful!李老师你真漂亮!
27. I love you!我爱你!
三、道歉
1.I am sorry. 对不起。
2. Never mind. 没关系。
四、洗浴进餐
1.Are you thirsty? Yes, I am. / No, I am not. 你渴吗?是的，我渴。 / 不，我不渴。
2. I like fish / beef / lamb. 我喜欢鱼肉 / 牛肉 / 羊肉。
3. That is delicious apple / banana / orange. 美味的苹果 / 香蕉 / 橙子。
4. Have some water / tea / milk. 和一些水 / 茶 / 牛奶。
5. Help yourself. 别客气。
6. What’s for lunch / breakfast / supper? 中午 / 早晨 / 晚上吃什么?
7. Brush your teeth. 刷牙。
8. Wash your face. 洗脸。
9. Show me your nose / hands / head. 给我看看你的鼻子/ 手 / 头。
10. I am hungry. 我饿了。
11. I am full. 我吃饱了。
12. Have an apple. 有一个苹果。
13. I have done my hands. 我洗过手了。
14. I’m the helper. 我是值日生。
15. I want more rice / vegetable. 我还要米饭 / 菜。
16. I spilled my soup. 我把汤撒了。
17. There is no tissue paper. 没有餐巾纸了。
18. I want to go to the toilet. 我想上厕所。
19. Can I go to toilet? 我能上厕所吗?
20. What kind of juice? 什么果汁?
21. I like orange-juice. 我喜欢桔子汁。
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展9）
——爆笑的英语笑话经典
爆笑的英语笑话经典1
A young girl was asked by her mother, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The girl replied, "I want to be an old maid."
Her mother was surprised to hear that, and said, "Oh,dear, why?" The girl said, "I don"t think I would like to kiss a man so many times and to tell him he handsome every time. I will get bored. I like to go shopping, so I"d rather earn money to buy things for myself."
一个少女的.母亲问她：“你长大后想干什么呀?”少女说：“我想做个老姑娘。”
她的母亲听到这话感到非常惊讶。她说：“啊，亲爱的，这是为什么呀?”少女说：“我觉得我不会老是要去亲一个男人，而且每次还要说他很帅。我会感到厌倦的。我喜欢逛商店，所以我宁愿去赚钱给自己买东西。”
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笑话
儿童英语
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇
儿童英语笑话爆笑1
儿童英语笑话爆笑15岁
儿童英语笑话爆笑1 Awomancomplainedthatherhusbandconstantlyhungaroundthehouse，doingorsayingnothing.Toplease下面是小编为大家整理的儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇,供大家参考。
儿童英语笑话爆笑1
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we"ll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes，do you need a partner ?"
“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”
儿童英语笑话爆笑2
Happiness in Dream
There was a wife who told her husband, "Last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring."
The husband put down his newspaper and said, "Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them."
妻子告诉丈夫说：“昨天晚上我梦见你给我买了一件裘皮大衣和一个钻石戒指。”
丈夫放下手中的报纸说：“好啊!今晚再睡着时，你就穿戴上它们吧。”
儿童英语笑话爆笑3
Too Smart for Dad
"Young man," said the angry father from the head of stairs, "didn"t I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter in?"
"You did," admitted the boyfriend, "it was going to strike eleven , but I grabbed it and held the gong so it wouldn"t disturb you."
The father muttered, "Wonder why I didn"t think of that one in my courting days!"
青出于蓝
“小伙子，”父亲在楼梯口板着脸说道，“闹钟敲了四下，你才把我女儿带回来，我没听错吧?”
“是的，”男孩承认说，“闹钟本来是要敲11下，但我拽住了钟摆，以免影响您。”
父亲低咕道：“奇怪，我谈恋爱时怎么没想到这一着呢!”
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇扩展阅读
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展1）
——搞笑儿童英语笑话 (菁选3篇)
搞笑儿童英语笑话1
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I"ll bring you martinis all night long. But you go to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I"m peeking at a photo of my wife.When she starts to look good, then I know it"s time to go home."
搞笑儿童英语笑话2
A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I"ll die of suffocation(窒息，闷死) if there is no fresh air.""I won"t open it," said the first lady, "I"ll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let"s have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."
解决问题的好办法 一位绅士正静静地坐在头等包厢里，有两位女士走了进来。其中一位见窗户开着，就在落坐之前把窗户“把窗户打开，”第二位女士说道，“如果没有新鲜空气，我会被憋死的。” “不能打开，”第一位说道，“如果它开着，我会被冻死的。” 一场争吵开始，没完没了，直到那位绅士开口： “我们先让窗户关着，直到把这位女士憋死，然后再打开窗户，直到把这位女士冻死。那以后，这儿就可以恢复*静了。”
搞笑儿童英语笑话3
A lawyer married a woman who had previously1 divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I"m still a virgin2."
"What?" said the puzzled groom3.
"How can that be if you"ve been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he"d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn"t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn"t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement5, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn"t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing4: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I"ve married you, I"m really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You"re a lawyer. This time I know I"m gonna get screwed!"
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展2）
——爆笑儿童英语笑话 (菁选2篇)
爆笑儿童英语笑话1
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
爆笑儿童英语笑话2
At the supermarket I noticed an elderly man who seemed to be following me wherever I went. As I moved to each aisle, there he was, smiling at me. Now I was wondering if he was interested in me. At the dairy counter I was checking out the eggs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw that it was the same man. "Lady," he finally said, "you have my shopping cart."
在超级市场
在超市我注意到一位上了年纪的`男子好像总在跟着我。我每到一个售货通道，他就跟我到一个售货通道，微笑地看着我。我开始想他是不是喜欢上我了。在乳品柜，我正给鸡蛋包装结账时，有人在我肩上轻拍了一下。我转过身发现还是那个男子。“女士，”他终于开口说话了，“你用着我的采货车呢。”
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展3）
——短篇的儿童英语小笑话爆笑 (菁选2篇)
短篇的儿童英语小笑话爆笑1
Our oldest son, Willy, a helicopter pilot stationed at Fort Rucker，Alaska, lives and breathes flying. When he called to say hed be driving home for Christmas，a 16-hour trip,we were surprised. "Why don`t you fly home?"my wife asked.
我的`大儿子威利，是阿拉斯加州福特罗克墓地的一名直升飞机驾驶员，生活、呼吸在飞行中。圣诞节快到的时侯，他打电话告诉我们他要驾车回来，有16个小时的旅途。我们吓了一跳。“你为什么不坐飞机回来呢?”我妻子问他。
"Because,"Willy replied, "I hate riding in the back!”
威利说:“因为我讨厌坐在飞机的后面。”
短篇的儿童英语小笑话爆笑2
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but itdoesnt really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact,Ive farted(放屁) at least 20 times since Ive been here in your office. You didnt know I wasfarting because they dont smell and are silent."
有位小老太太去看医生：“医生，我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题，只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。事实上，我在这里已经放了20多个屁，但是你并不知道对吧，因为我的屁不臭，而且还没声音。”
The doctor says, "I see. Heres a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven daysand come back to see me next week."The next week the lady goes back.
医生说：“好的，我明白了。吃这个药片，一天三次连续吃七天，下星期你再来。”
"Doctor," she says, "I dont know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although stillsilent... stink terribly."The doctor says, "Good! Now that weve cleared up your sinuses(鼻窦) ,lets start working on your hearing."
一星期后老太太来了，“医生，你到底给的我什么药，现在我放屁还是没声音，但是怎么这么臭!”医生说：“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了，现在开始治听觉。”
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展4）
——儿童英语诗歌朗诵3篇
儿童英语诗歌朗诵1
《Whole Duty of Children孩子的全部责任》
A child should always say what"s true,
一个孩子应该总是会说什么是真的，
And speak when he is spoken to,
当他说话的时候，
And behave mannerly at table:
在餐桌的.举止文明：
At least as far as he is able.
至少到目前为止，他有能力做到。
儿童英语诗歌朗诵2
《There Was a Little Girl这是一个小女孩》
There was a little girl
这是一个小女孩
Who had a little curl
她有一头卷发
Right in the middle of her forehead.
从她前额的中间分散开。
When she was good
当她是好看的时候
She was very good indeed,
她真的非常好看，
But when she was bad she was horrid.
但当她不好看的时候她就变的非常可怕。
儿童英语诗歌朗诵3
《A Guinea Pig一个豚鼠》
There was a little guinea pig,
这是一个小豚鼠 ，
Who being little, was not big;
并非很小，就是不大;
He always walked upon his feet,
它总是匆匆的跑，
And never fasted when he eat.
它很少让自己饿着一直在吃东西。
When from a place he run away,
当它从一个地方逃跑了，
He never at the place did stay;
它很少在一个地方停留着;
And while he run, as I am told,
虽然它跑了，正如我所说的，
He never stood still for young or old.
它不论什么时候都不会静静地呆着。
He often squeaked, and sometimes violent,
它经常尖叫， 有时也会暴力，
And when he squeaked he never was silent.
当它感受到危险的时候它也不会安静下拉。
Though never instructed by a cat,
虽然猫从未想去捉它，
He knew a mouse was not a rat.
它知道这只像老鼠的动物不是老鼠。
One day, as I am certified,
有一天，我认证，
He took a whim, and fairly died;
他突发奇想，选择适当的时间死亡;
And as I am told by men of sense,
正如我所说的，一个人的感觉，
He never has been living since.
他几乎没有过自己想要过的生活。
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展5）
——儿童英语口语常用句型3篇
儿童英语口语常用句型1
1.How are you?-I’m fine. Thank you. and you?
你好吗?我很好。谢谢，你呢?
2.Good morning / afternoon/evening/night.
早上好/下午好/晚上好/晚安。
3.What’s your name?
你叫什么名子啊?
4. What’s wrong with you? (What’sthe matter?)
你怎么了?(出什么事了?)
5.Let’s get ready for class!
让我们准备上课吧!
6.One bye one please.no pushing.
一个一个来。不要挤。
7.Let’s go back to the classroom.
让我们*室去。
8.Do you want anymore?
还要吗?
9.I’d like to drink some milk!
我想喝点年奶!
10.Who wants to try?
谁来试试?
11.Today we are going to learn some new worlds。
今天我们将学习一些新单词。
12.Don’t be afraid/shy!
不要害怕/不要害羞!
13. I’m going to learn Disney’s Magic English.
我去学迪士尼神奇英语。
儿童英语口语常用句型2
1.How are you?-I’m fine. Thank you. and you?
你好吗?我很好。谢谢，你呢?
2.Good morning / afternoon/evening/night.
早上好/下午好/晚上好/晚安。
3.What’s your name?
你叫什么名子啊?
4. What’s wrong with you? (What’sthe matter?)
你怎么了?(出什么事了?)
5.Let’s get ready for class!
让我们准备上课吧!
6.One bye one please.no pushing.
一个一个来。不要挤。
7.Let’s go back to the classroom.
让我们*室去。
8.Do you want anymore?
还要吗?
9.I’d like to drink some milk!
我想喝点年奶!
10.Who wants to try?
谁来试试?
11.Today we are going to learn some new worlds。
今天我们将学习一些新单词。
12.Don’t be afraid/shy!
不要害怕/不要害羞!
13. I’m going to learn Disney’s Magic English.
我去学迪士尼神奇英语。
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展6）
——圣诞节儿童英语诗歌3篇
圣诞节儿童英语诗歌1
C for the carolers, happy and gay,
H for the holly and Santa"s red hat,
R for the reindeer, leaping the roofs.
I for the ice on snow-covered hills,
S for the stockings that Santa Claus stuffs,
T for the toys, the tinsel, the tree,
M for the mistletoe. Watch where it hangs!
A for the animals, out in the stable,
S for the sensing, the necessity of love.
圣诞节儿童英语诗歌2
Once upon a time the Elf, Rudolph and Santa got into the hot bath tub,
As it would keep them from the cold outside, when they got a little scrub.
When Frosty saw what they were doing he laughed and poked fun at them,
Santa was so embarrassed and didn"t know what to say to Frosty, his cutest gem.
So in his defence he told Frosty to enter the hot bath tub instead of finding flaws.
He thought this would make Frosty realize what a cool idea it really was.
But when Frosty got in, the temperature of the tub changed from hot to cold,
And within seconds the Elf, Rudolph and Santa froze.
They froze not just because it was too cold to bear,
But they froze when they realized their culprit has melted in the hot tub there.
Poor Frosty!
圣诞节儿童英语诗歌3
Evergreen boughs that fill our homes
With fragrant Christmas scents,
Hearts filled with the loving glow
That Christmas represents;
Christmas cookies, turkeys stuffed,
Festive holly berry,
Little faces bright with joy,
Loved ones being merry;
Parties, songs, beribboned gifts,
Silver bells that tinkle,
Christmas trees and ornaments,
Colorful lights that twinkle;
Relatives waiting with open arms
To smile and hug and kiss us;
These are some of the special joys
That come along with Christmas.
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展7）
——常用的儿童英语口语表达
常用的儿童英语口语表达1
集体活动
1. Go ahead. 继续。
2. Sing a song. 唱支歌。
3. Come on guys. 男孩们过来。
4. What’s that? 那是什麽?
5. Really? 真的?
6. Hang on for a while. 稍微等一会儿。
7. Enjoy yourself. 自娱自乐。
8. Danger! Keep off! 危险!小心!
9. Don’t be afraid, it’s safe. 别害怕，它是安全的。
10. I am busy now, see you later. 我很忙现在，一会儿见。
11. What shall we draw today? 我们今天画什么。
12. I have no paper. 我没有纸。
13. I finished. 我做完了。
14. I can’t see. 我看不见。
15. I can’t write my name. 我不会写我的名字。
16. I like toys. 我喜欢玩玩具。
17. He’s hitting me!他打我!
18. He takes my toy / book. 他抢我的玩具 / 书。
19. Excuse me. Can you do my shoes? 打扰一下，你能帮我系鞋带吗?
20. I want to play with Jim. 我想和Jim玩。
21. Let’s play home game / house. 我们玩娃娃家吧。
22. Do I need keep the toys? 要收玩具吗?
23. I want to go to playground. 我想玩大型玩具。
24. We want to play hide and seek. 我们想玩捉迷藏。
25. Don’t push me. 别推我。
26. Teacher, he pushes me. 老师，他推我。
27. Show me. 给我看。
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展8）
——最新儿童英语口语
最新儿童英语口语1
一、打招呼，问好
1.Good morning? Good morning! 早上好?早上好!
2. Good afternoon? Good afternoon! 下午好?下午好!
3. How old are you? I am (four). 你几岁了?我(四)岁。
4. What is your name? My name is (lanlan) 你叫什麽名字?我叫(兰兰)。
5. See you tomorrow? See you tomorrow. 明天见?明天见。
6. Are you OK? Yes, I am OK. 你还好吗?我挺好的。
7. Hi, how are you? I am fine, thank you. 嘿，你好吗?我很好，谢谢。
8. Excuse me! 打扰一下!
9. Bye-bye mum / daddy. 再见妈妈/ 爸爸。
10. Good-bye 再见。
11. Excuse me, what is your name? 打扰一下，你叫什么名字?
12. See you next week. 下周见。
二、表扬，感谢
1.You are beautiful! 你真漂亮!
2. You are clever! 你真聪明!
3. You are good! 你真棒!
4. Great! / Good! / OK! 好。
5. Very nice! 非常好!
6. Happy New Year! 新年快乐!
7. Happy birthday! 生日快乐!
8. Merry Christmas! 圣诞快乐!
9. Thank you very much! 非常感谢你!
10. Wonderful! 太棒了!
11. I am the winner! 我是胜利者!
12. I am the first! 我是第一名!
13. You are beautiful! 你真漂亮!
14. You are welcome! 欢迎你!
15. How beautiful! 多美呀!
16. How funny! 多有趣呀!
17. Wow! It’s so nice! 哇!它太好了。
18. It’s a nice day! 这是一个很好的一天!
19. Oh, my god / goodness! 哦，我的上帝!
20. Wow! It’s so nice / lovely! 哇!它太棒了 / 太可爱了!
21. Nice girl / boy. 好女孩 / 男孩。
22. You are so sweet. 你是非常可爱的。
23. You look very smart. 你看起来非常聪明。
24. I wish you a Merry Christmas!我祝你圣诞快乐!
25. I wish you a Happy New Year!我祝你新年快乐!
26. Miss Li, you are very beautiful!李老师你真漂亮!
27. I love you!我爱你!
三、道歉
1.I am sorry. 对不起。
2. Never mind. 没关系。
四、洗浴进餐
1.Are you thirsty? Yes, I am. / No, I am not. 你渴吗?是的，我渴。 / 不，我不渴。
2. I like fish / beef / lamb. 我喜欢鱼肉 / 牛肉 / 羊肉。
3. That is delicious apple / banana / orange. 美味的苹果 / 香蕉 / 橙子。
4. Have some water / tea / milk. 和一些水 / 茶 / 牛奶。
5. Help yourself. 别客气。
6. What’s for lunch / breakfast / supper? 中午 / 早晨 / 晚上吃什么?
7. Brush your teeth. 刷牙。
8. Wash your face. 洗脸。
9. Show me your nose / hands / head. 给我看看你的鼻子/ 手 / 头。
10. I am hungry. 我饿了。
11. I am full. 我吃饱了。
12. Have an apple. 有一个苹果。
13. I have done my hands. 我洗过手了。
14. I’m the helper. 我是值日生。
15. I want more rice / vegetable. 我还要米饭 / 菜。
16. I spilled my soup. 我把汤撒了。
17. There is no tissue paper. 没有餐巾纸了。
18. I want to go to the toilet. 我想上厕所。
19. Can I go to toilet? 我能上厕所吗?
20. What kind of juice? 什么果汁?
21. I like orange-juice. 我喜欢桔子汁。
儿童英语笑话爆笑3篇（扩展9）
——爆笑的英语笑话经典
爆笑的英语笑话经典1
A young girl was asked by her mother, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The girl replied, "I want to be an old maid."
Her mother was surprised to hear that, and said, "Oh,dear, why?" The girl said, "I don"t think I would like to kiss a man so many times and to tell him he handsome every time. I will get bored. I like to go shopping, so I"d rather earn money to buy things for myself."
一个少女的.母亲问她：“你长大后想干什么呀?”少女说：“我想做个老姑娘。”
她的母亲听到这话感到非常惊讶。她说：“啊，亲爱的，这是为什么呀?”少女说：“我觉得我不会老是要去亲一个男人，而且每次还要说他很帅。我会感到厌倦的。我喜欢逛商店，所以我宁愿去赚钱给自己买东西。”
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